at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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