Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
