There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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