i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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