Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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