Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize