She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
