thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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