so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
