David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
