I just saw a hot homeless man
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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