I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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