Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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