dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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