i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Floor bacon is actually really good
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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