Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
