ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
