You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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