Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
