when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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