I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
