i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
