Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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