god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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