I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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