Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
