I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
