Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
