Whats the count minus fat chicks?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
