I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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