We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
