question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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