I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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