And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
