She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
