Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
