he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize