I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
