Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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