Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
