That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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