let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize