so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
