Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nicole vs. Life
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
