I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
