I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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