Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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