Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Welp...herpes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
