I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
