I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
