Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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