If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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