I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
