Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
