Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
