I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just gargled with NyQuil
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize