Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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