guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Enjoy the penises
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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