porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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