She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
