Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
