tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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