I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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