I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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