I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
