Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
