They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
